Matthew West Blogging Tour: Story of Your Life

Are you ready for the story of your life? Okay, lame attempt at a joke to kick things off...

I've had a really hard time kicking this blog series off, hence the 4 day delay.  I could never be a pastor and work under weekly pressure.  I've been struggling with whether to keep the themes universal or individual.  With much deliberation I've decided to keep them individually universal.

The Story of Your Life - for Matthew West's commentaries, the story behind the song and to listen go to http://www.matthewwest.com/stories/?id=1

"Is this the end? Or only the beginning?" And I was hooked.  That's what this entire blogging site is about for me.  Reclaiming freedom.  New beginnings.  Starting over.  We all have dark pasts, hidden secrets, and "demons" seemingly haunting us at every turn, don't we?  I reached a point last year where I simply gave up.  The fight wasn't worth it because I was just getting too hurt, too angry, too confused.

"The question is will you do something with it? Or spend your days lost in your regret?"

If there was ever a line of lyrics that could feel like a punch in the gut that's it right there.  My mind was clouded, my vision of the future clouded and I was seemingly blinded to the present.  Why me? Why more? God, I can't handle this.  You. Make. Me. So. Angry.  The blame, the guilt, the raw and bitter fury I felt towards a God I knew to be so loving and only felt to be so unfair and unjust.  It was a downward spiral that emptied into an infinitely bottomless pit.  Not a fun mental picture, is it?

"Breathe in deep.  Feel your heart start beating.  Let's go see the reason you're alive."

Life is a journey.  And I needed this reminder to keep breathing, realize I AM and WAS alive.  And as if I took that invisible hand, I began the process of painstakingly rereading my own story.  You see, that infinitely bottomless pit is bottomless for a reason.  We can feel like we keep falling, that we've reached the bottom or that things couldn't get any worse.  My vision was obscured and I was in complete denial that a loving God could let me fall so low.  The truth is that, in fact, that same loving God loves me so much and is so full of grace and mercies that he kept that pit from having a bottom, He kept me above water when I felt like I was drowning.  Even through my own obstinate anger and frustrations the Holy Spirit had strong arms wrapped around me and carried me through all of the tribulations I was experiencing.  That in itself is amazing and its own story to be told.   But just as the first and last lyrics of the song ask.... it's not the end.

"This is the story of your life. You decide how the rest is gonna be."

We are each writing our own story.  God doesn't just jump in as the cure-all, mend-all at our beck and call.  He gave us beautiful minds to make decisions for a reason.  Our stories here on Earth don't end when we feel like life is crashing down.  We have ups and downs, good times and bad.  Each chapter, each moment of rejoicing and period of darkness creates a story that is uniquely our own.  The most beautiful part is we are our own authors.  Are we going to let that negative past declare our future to be one of the same sorrow?  We have extraordinarily powerful minds that can take all of our past turmoil and triumphs and turn them into an intricately woven story worth reading over and over again, full of bountiful life lessons we can learn from and be an example to others.  Are you going to let yours be a tragedy or one with a fairy-tale happily ever after?  The choice is yours.  I know where mine is headed and I'm excited to keep writing.

"This is the story of your life and it's a story worth telling."

The Matthew West Blogging Tour

While life has been crazy busy in the past few weeks it has remained relatively drama free since the toe mishap.  The "calm" and many hours in the car has given me plenty of time to reflect on the past several years.  The weekend before last I was blessed to have a few days to spend with one of my most cherished friends, Jen.  Jen and I originally met through the Mark Schultz message boards way back in 2004.  A concert in Bluffton with Matthew West, Mark Schultz and Avalon was the beginning of a great friendship we've been able to expand upon ever since.  I was starstruck at the time of the concert and when I had the chance to meet Mark Schultz face-to-face after the concert I walked right by Matthew West's outstretched hand to me and stumbled googly-eyed towards Mark instead.  I could kick myself now.  My partiality towards Mark's music and all that was associated it pretty much blinded me at the time to the wonders of Matthew West's music.  Still kicking myself.

Two summers ago I got to travel with some friends to Illinois where we attended a Christian Music Festival featuring Mark Schultz, Matthew West and the groups Mel endearingly termed "Satan music" It was then that I saw Matthew West for the artist, performer and man that he is.  And it was then that I jokingly started referring to him as my future husband.  Okay, really joking... honest.  But the man has the entire package and I am just constantly in awe of him. 

Last year I was in the eye of the storm with mine and Byron's separation when I started following that Matthew was writing an entire album based off of stories his Facebook and Twitter fans had submitted.  He had asked that everyone submit a story of their life.... good, bad, ugly, the inbetween... He spent several weekends in a cabin reading and analyzing those stories and wrote his entire album based off of them.  Oh, I was excited to be sure.  But nothing could have ever braced me for the reality, truth and healing powers behind this album.  No music has ever touched me before as his has in this album.  I was moved to tears and goosebumps upon first hearing it and I can honestly say that hasn't stopped with each subsequent "Matthew West Therapy Session".  The album is genius, the lyrics are incredible and the voice behind it all is so moving that I can't help but blog about it now. 

Anyway, it really struck me while I was driving down to Columbus for the weekend with Jen and the concert how much I wanted and needed to share the impact this album has had on my life.  It has such raw universal truths and messages woven throughout it that I don't think there's a single breathing person out there who can't be affected by it in some way.  And it's for that reason I've chosen to actually start a blog series for the first time ever based on each song in the album.  I've never pre-meditated more than one blog at a time.  All of my blogging comes from the heart and if it feels forced I get a mental block and find myself unable to write.  But as I listened to each song and the things I could write about my mind was just reeling with blogging possibilities.  I'm really excited about it all and can't wait to share with you all.  His stories truly resonate within the very core of my soul and have given me deliverance and freedom I've so desperately needed. 

Next blog... Story of My Life :) Stay tuned...