When the Littleton and Virginia Tech shootings took place there was an unmistakable shock and sadness that shook throughout the nation. If you're the average person you were filled with a sense of loss for the lives lost and communities suffering. And thank goodness nothing like that ever hits close to home, right?
Wrong.
Today a teenage boy opened fire on 5 Chardon students, killing one of them. I have close family and friends from Chardon... it was the "next door neighbor" to my own high school. The student killed is family of one of Byron's closest friends. This isn't entirely too close to home. This IS home.
As the day has gone on and minimal details have unraveled I think we've all felt a sense of despair and wanting answers, wanting to know, how, what, WHY. The police, school officials, teachers, EMT's have done an amazing job today and I have huge amounts of respect for them. That being said, we don't know much about the shooter. He was a troubled teen attending an alternative school, known to have behavior issues. Dad was convicted of murder, parents were divorced, friends saying he "changed" in 8th grade. A loner... I've heard that repeated several times throughout the day. Speculations of a fight between the students shot and this boy over jilted lover and an ex-girlfried. Theories of a drug deal gone wrong. Accusations and fingers being pointed at the students shot for bullying and at the family for "not being there" for the shooter, T.J. In my opinon, it needs to stop. There may have been signs, there will likely be a motive that comes forward but it is not our job to judge or pre-determine it for officials.
That being said, my heart is just breaking for everyone involved. Keeping in theme with my Matthew West blogs "Family Tree" speaks volumes about this horrifying day for Chardon.
You didn't ask for this
Nobody ever would
Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It's your sad reality
It's your messed up family tree
And all you're left with is all these questions
Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was?
Do you have to carry what they've handed down?
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
I have a dream for you
It's better than where you've been
It's bigger than your imagination
You're gonna find real love
And you're gonna hold your kids
You'll change the course of generations
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
Cause you're my child
You're my chosen
You are loved
You are loved
And I will restore
All that was broken
You are loved
You are loved
And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring
You're brining new life to your family tree now
Yes you are
You are
No, this will be your legacy
This will be your destiny
Yesterday did not define you
No, this will be your legacy
This will be your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring
You're brining new life to your family tree now
Every single person reading this. Every single person not reading this. The students. The families. T.J. This is YOUR story. Other people's mistakes and dysfunctions are not your identity. You are not a victim because of your genes. You do not have to fall into harmful and painful footsteps that your family has created before you. When tragedy likes this strikes everyone is left wondering "What more could I have done?" "How did I mess up so much that I didn't see this coming?" "Why did I not do something sooner?" I refuse to believe that this kid was born into violence or murder just because it's how his father was. I don't believe that his true identity is one of bully-driven hatred and anger. He is not the shadow of an alleged murderer or the creation of bullies. He is T.J. And he has his own identity. Let's not try to assign him one just because we need answers.
Everyone please take in the lyrics of this song and TRUST them. If you are down, depressed, angry, full of revenge or hatred. Those feelings are not your identity. They aren't what has to define you. No one on this earth may have the power to reverse things you've experienced or seen... and no one may have the right words or a magic wand to make the hurt and anger go away. But there is never, ever an excuse to allow yourself to go over the edge. EVERYONE has people who love them... and even when it seems the world walks out you have a loving God who is always, always there loving you through every trial and tribulation. You don't have to be alone and you don't have to pre-destined to desperation.
Please keep the victims, the families, the community and especially the family and friends of T.J. and T.J. himself in your prayers. Let's love them through this and not let our shock, sadness and even anger fuel the fire and drama.
“I choose gentleness… Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself. ”
— Max Lucado
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